2019-11-11 - 4:25 p.m.
Lemme tell you how pure joy can be purchased from Sam's Club.
They have this beautiful large container of a dozen huge croissants. Buy this. Ignore the voices in your head that urge you to avoid these carbs and just get them. Scurry home like a rat and line your toaster oven tray with parchment. Pick out a big fat croissant and slice that bad boy in half. Place the 2 halves - cut side up - and lovingly cover one side with provolone cheese and the other side with cheddar. Yes, you need 2 kinds of cheese and you don't care how much fat and calories are in it. Slide the tray into your awesome convection toaster over you bought from QVC and bake at 375 until the cheese starts to get bubbly and lightly browned. While this is happening, fry a large Eggland's Best egg, or any large egg you happen to have lying about. I pop the yolk and smooth out the egg so it will be uniformly thick and I shape it to the croissant for optimum coverage. Sprinkle a little pink Himalayan salt on the egg as it cooks and when the cheesy croissant is ready, put the egg in and close your sammich. Burn all the hair off your tongue if you wish.
It is snowing at my house. I don't care, because I have a fireplace plus all kinds of coffee, creamer, and about 7 more croissants left. I'm good for a week. Bring it.