Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

2016-09-05 - 2:11 p.m.

This long weekend has been a wonderful little reprieve. It's amazing how quickly 3 days goes by when you are doing exactly what you want to do and none of the things you don't.

I didn't paint. I didn't go anyplace. I stayed my butt at home, looked at real estate online, tallied up my net worth, thought about things I could do with it, ruminated on some creative projects, slept, did a little work, watched TV.

I discovered that a house just like mine, in my neighborhood, is for sale. Same floor plan, same color bricks and stone, same, except... not as upgraded as mine. My kitchen granite is made of thicker, upgraded granite. My windows all have custom blinds, and I special ordered a fancy castle door. This other house has a plain, beige door. The price for that house on the listing is 100K more than I paid for this house!!!! Excuse me while I run around my backyard for a few celebratory laps. That's right, my house has appreciated in price by about 100K. I'm over the moon about that. I put a chunk down on this house and so I now have over 150K in equity here.

So my mind naturally starts going over things I could possibly do... like buy a house place somewhere nice (or near my family) and put a cabin on it. Maybe install solar panels and a water well and set up for the zombie apocalypse. Maybe I should buy a more expensive house in another up and coming area where a large corporation is moving in. That's why my value has increased so much here. My town had a huge Exxon headquarters coming in and 7000 employees would be needing a home. A person could make a killing buying and selling houses wherever big business is going.

Another thing I could do is pay off my house real early. Like within 2 years. Own it free and clear, have a generator installed that runs on gas. The property taxes are ridiculous here, so I'm planning to move. But I sure do like my neighborhood.

I also could use my equity for capital if I wanted to buy a franchise. But I don't think I want to do that. I know a guy who used to make 6 figures in the gas and oil biz and when the oil prices tanked, he got laid off. He had a nice chunk of money laying around so he bought a franchise. Now he tells me he has never worked so hard in all his life to clear 50K. I'm not trying to get my salary cut. He says he is happier now though and he expects to become more and more successful. He is building up his repeat customers and thinks he will be fine. I have no burning desire to be a franchisee.

I already have my career in a good place. If that continues, knock on wood. It can always change. I think if I lost one job, I would just take on another part time one and replace the income. As long as I am healthy and can do this kind of work, I'm set. I probably should figure out what the heck I'm going to do and get a house paid for. I wish my family would stop insisting on living in the podunk town they live in. I don't want to live there. I do want to be near my family. It's a dilemma.

I am holding back on final decisions until after the October vacation, because that trip might light a fire under me about moving to that region, or might make me know that I don't want that. My sister is already decided on it. She wants to move there. But we shall see.

Grief-wise, I'm doing ok. I have my moments. And then I slam that basement door. I feel like I am hermiting full time even more than before and I am taking great joy in my hermiting. I don't go anyplace. I don't see anyone. I think I am doing this because of the grief and I am comforted by not having to deal with people or pretend anything. I sense that it might not be super healthy... but it is comfortable right now. I hope I snap out of it before I start growing my nails real long like Howard Hughes.

And now... I'm going to work like the wind and get all my admits done so I'm ahead of the game tomorrow. I am already looking forward to the next weekend.

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!