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2015-10-17 - 3:34 p.m.

I had been living the Ketogenic lifestyle for many months when I decided to briefly step off the old keto-wagon just to sample a few tasty blueberries this summer. Months later, here I am, still under the wagon, munching on fruit. I've been eating Honeycrisp apples which are one of God's absolute best inventions. I have stayed off the scale (that filthy liar) for all this time and yesterday I plucked up the courage to get on it and just measure the failure so I'll know what I've got to do to get back where I was. Might not be the best time to get back on my plan... I'm going on vacation and there could be apples during that week...maybe even apple slices with pie around it. In a wedge shape. I mean, it could happen. Just saying.

So I got nekkid for my shower and I hopped on the scale that has been put away for a couple of months and I waited for that number of shame to come up.

Instead of a gain, I lost 7 pounds!!!! Dubya Tee Eff?? I'm guessing my metabolism is higher due to all the exercise, plus I haven't been eating terribly. I just had enough carbs to stay out of ketosis. I still avoid fast carbs when I'm off the wagon because of diabetes. I don't want that to regain a grip on me. I expected to be up several pounds so it was like a moderate lottery win to see a 7 pound loss. I am back on the wagon now because I feel inspired thanks to my accidental and unexpected progress.

A couple of days ago I was at a salon getting my lashes did. I sometimes get eyelash extensions and then I don't have to wear make up at all. My natural lashes are too light to show up. They are really long and nice but practically invisible, so I get the extensions and then I just wake up looking like I've got makeup on. It's awesome. These lashes will make you hate mascara. I hate clumpy, thick mascara and all its messiness, but I do like my lashes to show up. The extensions make me feel girly.

So anyway.. I was getting vacation lashes so I won't have to bother with make-up while I'm on holiday and my friend who owns the studio asked me who I was going on vacation with. I told her it's a big family thing and she said "No man?" I said "Girl, please." and she said that I'm too hot and single to be man-less. This wise, wise woman said that to me. Hah!

Then, later the same day I got a random text from a devastatingly handsome guy I know... but he's married and totally out of the question. He's going to be single one day because he doesn't love the poor girl he married. But he is strictly friend zone. I don't think I could be with him anyway, even if he was single because he's a man whore and a hot mess. When ya got the pretty like he has it... ya philander. He's a whole lot of problems in a beautiful package.

I'm not going to be alone forever. I know that. I have to move past my love for my twin flame. Like, I have to really get over him before I can truly commit to anyone. Bleh. I just want him back. That's where my dumb ass is at. It is such a bitter irony that he cited my possible future cheating as one of his justifications for leaving me and I STILL can't "cheat" even now... when he is shacked up with someone else.

I wish he would get tired of that old vampire he's with and try me out one mo' time. haha. We've been together and apart twice. Third time would be a charm. haha. I just know it!!

I really think we could have it all.


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