2015-04-27 - 10:01 p.m.
What a day.
My uncle did finally pass away. He had a really rough couple of weeks. I am guessing that his wife, my sweet little Aunt, needed to come to the place where she could recognize it was best for him to go. By the end, even she wanted him to let go and pass so he could rest.
My sister is going to sing Amazing Grace at the funeral and there's going to be military honors which makes it all that much sadder for some reason. I am going to ack a straight up fool, I'm sure. But you know what? If I feel like wailing, I'm just going to wail. I cannot be stressed with trying to keep my feelings in anymore. Funerals are sad. I cannot believe my sister allowed herself to be talked into singing. I told her I am not going to harmonize with her. At least not on purpose. The caterwauling could possibly provide a few extra notes in there. I can't imagine having to get up and utter anything whatsoever at a funeral, let alone sing a song. Someone has to do it, I suppose.
I keep having a flashback of my grandfather's funeral. I had a complicated relationship with my grandfather, so his death hit me harder than most. Funny how that goes... but I was viewing my grandfather in the casket, alone in the room, when my uncle walked in. We had a joking, teasing, pick-at-you kind of relationship, but I just ran to him and he hugged me up. It was a moment. Now it seems like zero time has passed and tomorrow he will be the one in the box. Life goes by so fast. It goes way too fast to have silences between people who love each other.
I have to drive tomorrow. They are having the thing early in the morning on Wednesday. I can't believe the planning on that since some of us, including my uncle's only child, have to travel quite a few hours to get there. I have to sling it together tomorrow and get there, probably just in time to hit the sack and then wake up way too early to do this thing I really dread. I'm in Hell. But then, once it's over, it will be a family reunion and a good time. I am taking enough stuff to last me the weekend. I had to go buy another pet carrier so I can carry both doglets safely. I tried putting them both in the same carrier one time and let's just say it didn't go over real well. My older dog is a great traveler and the little one... seems to whine a lot in the car. I'm hoping he will see that Dexter isn't upset and he too can learn to be a happy traveler. I also got him a harness and I'm sure that will be a real treat trying to get it on him.
I have an episode of Bates Motel to watch. That is such a great show. I'll go forget my troubles for an hour.
Goodnight
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