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2015-04-10 - 9:23 p.m.

I nearly committed suicide by jalapeno fumes today. That's right, "I almost lost my life!!"

I made a batch of stuffed jalapenos today and it involves slicing a dozen peppers in half lengthwise and removing the seeds. Sometimes the fumes rise up and fight back. It makes you cough and gag, if you don't prevent the fumes from getting in your airways. It's like I pepper sprayed myself. Seriously, I bet that is what pepper spray feels like. The evil peril of the task makes it sound like something not worth the suffering, but it is well worth it, my friend. Well worth it.

I know my beloved would not like these because.... peppers... but they are so incredibly good. They are only about 1 carb each. The heat cooks out of the peppers during the baking and the flavors are just beautiful. There's no bitter bell pepper taste. Someone who hates bell peppers might actually like these. There's no crunch and no bitterness. Anyone who likes peppers will flip their wig over these. I have to give the recipe now, don't I? Here go:

12 big jalapeno peppers
1 pound roll of pork sausage
8 ounce brick of cream cheese
5 ounce container of shredded parmesan cheese

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Take the cream cheese out of the fridge so it can warm to room temperature. Wash peppers. Cut off the tops, slice lengthwise, scoop out seeds and membranes with a spoon. Cough like a 10 year old first-time smoker after a big deep drag. Turn your head or step away while you cough up a lung. I'll wait.

Brown the sausage till it's done. Let it cool down till it's only warm. Stir into your soft cream cheese and mix very well. Dump in the whole container of shredded parmesan cheese. Mix very well. Stuff the peppers with this mixture. Just scoop it up and press it into these pepper halves. Lay them out on a parchment lined cookie sheet. You can just put them directly on the cookie sheet, but parchment prevents any sticking and makes clean up just a matter of throwing away the used paper. Bake for about 25 minutes at 400 degrees. They should be browned on the top. You can bake it more or less, as needed. Nicely browned is what you're going for. These are so ridiculously good and easy to make. Don't rub your eyes with your peppery fingers. I use thin disposable plastic gloves to prevent the pepper juice from getting on my fingers because it can be hard to wash off. Mister Man, this would be a good food to take to your Sunday game day, if you still do that. It reheats very well. The house smells like heaven while they cook. Everyone will be shocked that you cooked something this gobble-worthy. Makes 24 stuffed peppers. You may even be able to squeeze in a few more peppers to that amount of filling.

I missed my usual writing time today. I had to finish all my loose ends with work for the week and I spent some time on the phone talking to my mom and my friend who is finally trying to go low carb. She's going to start Monday... she says.

She had a funny story to tell. Recently, this asshole we both know called me up and pissed me off and I hung up on his ass. He's a jackass and I don't need his filth in my ear. He was rude, profane, and he has an axe to grind that I am not interested in talking about with him. I don't want a relationship with him, I've been crystal clear about it and now he is just pissing me off. So I reached the end of my patience and just hung up. So today, my friend asked me if I've heard from him lately and then she busted out laughing because she already knew all about it. He called her and told her some convoluted version of what happened and said "I guess I offended her." Ha! Understatement of the year!

Perhaps I am "fed up". I have been suffering fools even less gladly than usual for the last 2 days. I don't even want to go into it because it will turn this entry into a depressing drama. (When has that ever stopped me before? you may ask yourself...) Suffice it to say... stupidity annoys me.

I see stupid people.

One more thing: Today I posted a picture of Chip Coffey, who is a psychic and he's doing a thing at the Stanley Hotel this weekend in Estes Park. I wanted to go to that and my sister was going to go with me. We ended up cancelling. So I posted the picture of Chip there at the Stanley and no less than 4 Christians jumped in comments to condemn psychics. A few people commented the opposing viewpoint, but I could see this was going to be an embarrassing debacle, so I deleted the thread. I've just about had it with the morality police. However, I dearly love these Judgey Mcjudgersons.

Bad stuff aside, it's the weekend already!! I have a nice weekend of freeeeee time stretched out in front of me. How will I spend it? What will I do? Where will I go? Will I see any movies? Maaaaybe. Will I attack some villages and pillage some loot? You betcha.


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