2013-03-24 - 1:01 p.m.
Spiritual Partnership is the partnering of two equals for the purpose of spiritual growth.
We are on the planet for spiritual growth. Some people take this journey alone, but it is beneficial and good to have a spiritual partner and as far as marriage goes, the only ones that last and meet the potential of a happy, fulfilling, and positive union are the ones with that aspect of spiritual partnership. This is why my parents are happily married for more than 50 years. They are committed spiritual partners.
When people get that spiritual part right, they enjoy the closest, most intimate, fulfilling, deep love that can be reached. They get past the miserable surface crap that bogs unenlightened people down. (And that is most people, by the way) People get caught up in fights about money, chores, jealousies, control issues... and they either stay in miserable situations for too long or they quit altogether and then go find another superficial relationship that never gets successfully past these surface issues.
The "spiritual" that I am talking about is not religious; it's not about church, it's not about being holy or obeying doctrines, it is about soul growth. It is about learning what we are here to learn. It is about self actualization and evolving.
Through personal experience, and study, I have learned that the reason relationships don't work is that when people meet and become infatuated, and then start to feel that they have found the one who completes them and they just love every little thing about that person... they are in an infatuation state that is temporary. This is a little bit of frosting to draw us to the cake. After the initial exciting, "Jerry McGuire" phase wears off, you move into the next phase. This is where the work begins, because these primary relationships are meant to be a partnership for the purpose of spiritual growth. Your partner draws things out of you that needs work. Ugly feelings and fears arise and what you are supposed to do is remember that your partner is helping you on your journey and you must view them with compassion and be honest about the feelings they are pulling up in you. The joy and deepening of the love comes with learning to recognize when your partner brings up fear or any other negative emotion, that this is something you need to deal with in yourself. You can begin to master your fears. You will also bring up fears in your partner. Every couple, EVERY single couple that ever pairs off has these issues to work through and your success or failure has everything to do with your ability to face your own issues and conquer them. Two spiritual partners can face these things together and overcome one by one the issues that are there. This leads to an ever deepening, ever more secure, loving, and joyful union of two souls. This is how to be happy in your relationship.
If you have paired yourself with an addict or a crazy person, this is a problem you need to face in yourself and choose more wisely next time. haha.
I suspect you need to find a partner who is about as evolved as you are. Or at least open to the idea that he has some issues to be worked out and he needs to be open to spiritual things and realize that this is why we are on the planet. He needs to be aware enough to know that petty fights are not the real issue. The underlying fear that the petty issue brings up is the real issue. You can never heal those surface issues without healing the underlying wound that makes crazy suspicions or irrational angers arise in the first place. When someone is wounded inside, their fountain of irrational fears and angers is bottomless. There will always be a new fight until the wound is healed. I see this clearly now. My last relationship got bogged down in the surface issues and never were we able to get down to the real wound underneath. We both had underlying wounds, of course, that caused us to react to each other in destructive ways. I would have stayed with him forever, and maybe never learned how to face the underlying issues and conquer it. He chooses to just give up and find someone else. He's done this twice to me. I worry that he will never recognize the truth and find his way to happiness. It's like when you're playing a video game, you have to learn what you've got to do to reach the next level. His mario cart is stuck on a certain level.
We are all here on the planet to learn what we need to learn and enjoy life on this human level. It's an "Earth Class". My understanding is that you can't really and truly learn emotional lessons unless you experience it first hand and this is why we come to earth as a human life. If you can find a partner who is as dedicated as you are to creating spiritual growth and a deep, loving, intense, spiritual connection, this is a partnership that will work for as long as you are both willing to learn and grow. When one party stops growing, the partnership can't thrive anymore.
Marriage and romantic relationships without a spiritual aspect are much more flimsy and fragile than a spiritual partnership. Most people fall for someone, revel in the fact that this person is everything they wanted, feel excitement and complete enthrallment for a time and then when the natural, inevitable thing happens and they have moved through this honeymoon phase and into the real deeper stage, this is where people start thinking they made a mistake, they are not happy anymore, they were wrong about this person they thought was everything. People give up at this point, or do nothing to overcome the issues. People dig in their heels and refuse to accept that maybe they have something that needs to be changed or overcome in order to get past this issue. People shut down and move on. This is why some people can't make it past 3 to 5 years in a relationship!!!!
The love of my life, C, has a record of giving up on his relationships. He walks after 3 to 5 years. My problem, in contrast, is that in the past, I "married for life" and when my spouse brought up every bad feeling in me that could be had, I just stayed in it, completely miserable. I was strong on staying, because I thought it was what I was "supposed to do". But I failed miserably at overcoming the issues. I did overcome a few of my own issues, but as a couple, we solved nothing. I didn't even try to face the issues with the guy I married. I assumed he was just a bad choice that I made and I had to live with it. I was so young and stupid then. I had no business making life decisions in my teens. I have gone forward and my tendency to stay long term is still there. I would never give up on C. I love him and that is permanent. I have now learned that we had issues to face, but we botched that miserably and he did his usual thing, which is to bail. I didn't understand what we needed to do to get past these issues. I have since learned how to begin that process and while it is too late for Mr. Quit, I won't make that mistake next time I am in a partnership. I won't get into another partnership with someone who is not enlightened and motivated to achieve this vital partnership that I am looking for.
My current situation is that I don't want the average, normal, "marriage" or relationship. I want a spiritual partner who has some kind of understanding about the purpose of life and the importance of honest partnered spiritual growth. I want someone who will love me and give me support and compassion and receive my support and compassion as we go through this life together and conquer our fears and become our best selves together in support of each other, every step of the way. If I can't have that, I want no romantic relationship at all. Everything else is an empty, temporary, sugar-fix.
Give me the good stuff, or stay out of my path!