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2021-08-13 - 3:11 p.m.

So... it was cancer. I have been busy being poisoned since the last entry. I have ovarian cancer and I've had 3 chemo treatments. The first one was the hardest. I had terrible pain after the chemo which I later learned was a reaction to the chemo drug they are using. I have had a reaction all 3 times. On the second chemo, I had a severe reaction during the infusion. It took awhile for the nurses to realize I was over there dying, but they finally showed up with rescue meds. Then they gave me Demerol, which is my good, good friend. Since I had such a bad time with that, they parked me right by the nurses station for my next one. I had another reaction and got another nice Demerol shot. I really like that stuff.

So, here's the deal: Ovarian cancer is not a great diagnosis to have, but it's beatable and I feel like I am definitely responding to treatment. I feel better than I did before I started chemo, which seems counter-intuitive, but the abdominal pain is gone and I have more energy now. My labs are great. My blood counts are very good. Cancer treatment is not like I had imagined. I don't ever barf and I feel good on the day of chemo and the next day, but then I feel like refried roadkill on the 3rd and 4th day. On those days I'm so weak I can barely do anything for 2 days and then I start bouncing back. It takes about 5 days including the 2 really bad ones to get back to feeling good. Since my chemo is done once every 3 weeks, I have a couple of good weeks before they slap me down again. I will be having a hysterectomy at some point, but they wanted to chemo it down first so hopefully they can remove any traces of cancer when they do the hysterectomy.

My boss has been wonderful through all of this. He told me not to worry about losing my job. He also asked me if he could bring me up in his prayer group so they could pray for me. Yes please! I need all the prayers I can get.

My family has been awesome. My folks take me to all my appointments and my sister keeps my boy when I'm too weak and she stays overnight with me on the very worst days. They all bring me food and they clean stuff when they come over. I don't know how the people who don't have good family support make it through.

I am feeling pretty darn happy for a person who is fighting for her life. I'm a naturally happy person and they gave me a happy pill that has totally kicked in. Now I'm freaking joyful AF. Happy out of my mind. Aggressively happy. haha

Violently delighted.

I'm good at compartmentalizing. I can be happy in the midst of something bad. I am thanking God for my full healing which is in progress right now.

I would appreciate any prayers I can get said on my behalf.

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