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2020-08-11 - 10:18 p.m.

I created this blog years ago to be a place for me to bitch and moan and wail pitifully. My heart was broken when I started it and I wanted to say all the things someplace and not have anyone see it or hear it from me. Secret pain. It was locked for a long time. Eventually I erased a lot of it and unlocked it. Over time it has evolved somewhat due to correspondence with you other bloggers. It is no longer a closed place for me to bitch and moan. However, I guess by force of habit... I continue to come here to vent my spleen about things that make me mad, hurt my feelers, or haunt me due to tragedies old and new.

I'm thinking about this tonight because DangerSpouse (look him up) said it was nice to get a happy entry from me. I'm happy every day yet I'm not letting many rays of my sunshine make it into this bitch blog. Suddenly I realize that while I am not unhappy in my life, I am playing the role of that malcontent who never stops kavetching in my writings! I think I subconsciously just write when I've got a beef... I write when I'm bummed, annoyed, or shocked by something. I can do better than that. If I'm going to have it unlocked where people can see it, the least I can do is throw down a happy rant every now and then, yes?

I have not been telling the funny stuff that happens, the awesome stuff, the lucky stuff ...as much as the crap. The crap nudges me to write. The crap calls my name and tells me to hurry up and do an entry before the scent fades. Song writers often say they write better when their life is Hell. Maybe it's a thing.

So here's me. Turning over a new leaf. (haha. Let's see how this goes) Not gonna bitch all the time. Still gonna bitch... just not *all* the time.

Yay!

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