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2018-05-14 - 7:48 p.m.

Moving is not for the faint of heart nor the light of wallet. I have several situations that seem like some evil force is plotting against me.

Example: The movers came to do the in house estimate. My sister moved the contents of a 4 bedroom house with lots and lots of stuff. She has a huge pit group in her living room. Her bedroom furniture is massive. She moved the personal items of herself and her 2 kids, who are young adults, basically, so they have STUFF. I have a 3 bedroom house with a 3 cushion couch instead of a huge pit group. I posses no dressers. I have 2 queen beds, one has an iron bedstead, so it's not bulky. I have a day bed with a trundle. No dressers, 3 night tables all total, not massive furniture. It's obvious where I'm going. There were no worries about getting my sister's huge household into a truck. No problem at all. Everything fit fine and they even got in a riding mower and a grill and house plants. On the other hand, my seemingly modest amount of stuff equals 110% of a truck load. There's no way they can possibly get my less amount of stuff into a truck. Meaning I have to get rid of 10% of my stuff or pay for 2 trucks, which is DOUBLE.

::Sifting through my vocabulary looking for words that are non-profane::

So, I'm a problem solver. I finds myself a nice furniture consignment shop that will pick up the furniture. Yay. Go me! I carefully decided which of my beloved items to let go. I make an appointment for them to come out and quote me what they think they can get for my stuff. It's consignment, so the owner should get the majority of the proceeds, right? Wrong. Well, at least the consignment shop pays their own crew, right? Wrong again. Here's the deal: The owner of the furniture pays the employees to move the furniture at "only $75 an hour". Yes, they had the nerve to actually say the word "only". They price your furniture and they give it 6 weeks to sell. Then they cut the price till it hurts, and if it doesn't sell after a couple of weeks they donate it and you get nothing but the joy of paying their furniture movers. Sounds like a hot deal, huh?

As if that were not turn-off enough, they looked at my spotless, perfect, like-new furniture and informed me they can't take furniture that has fabric upholstery unless it's beige or gray. I have a lovely muted dark green chenille sofa with rolled arms and a matching chair. Not a spot on it. They can't possibly take that. They can't help me with my plush rocker recliner because it has fabric on it that is not gray or beige. They absolutely loved every piece of my furniture that is not for sale. They wanted the art off my walls. They wanted my beautiful and high quality all real wood bedroom suite and my day bed with trundle.

I think not.

At this point, I am thinking thoughts like "It's just money.", "Over pay the movers." I wrote an email to the movers who are trying to double charge me and I asked him what can we do to reduce that price. I'm hoping he will cut me a deal, because the truth is, I am leaning heavily towards taking every last stick of furniture, every cup, dish, and book and just paying the double price. Just fookin pay it and worry no more about this bullshit. I can't take a sofa someplace in my car. I can't really get rid of it unless I advertise it on Craig's List and hope to God some stranger doesn't murder me while they are alone with me in my house.

I'm sick of this little adventure.

I may have told the ridiculous tale of how I asked for a convenient close date for my house sale so I can use the proceeds in my new mortgage... and my asshole realtor told me it's no problem whatsoever to close early, the lender has agreed, but she's going to need me to sign a 3 day lease for the days between the earlier closing date and my move out date, and she will need me to go ahead and give a $1000 deposit that the buyers can keep if they find anything scratched, broken, or not clean enough. I can't have pets here, now that it's the buyers' house and all... they get house keys before I move out and the freedom to come in any time they want... they can charge me $250 a day if I'm not out by June 3rd, and if I could just leave the electricity on until 2 days after I move so they can air condition the whole neighborhood on my dime, that would be just great. That's their condish.

EFF DAT. I said we will just revert to the original close date. I reject your styoooopid lease. My realtor is trying to be nice to me now... damage control... but it's TOO LATE. The damage is done.

I have 2 weeks till moving day. I can stress out, lose my mind, desperately attempt to get rid of furniture so the rest will fit on one truck, give away my treasures for nothing, or.... pay a ridiculous price for my move and be done worrying with it. That's why I'm leaning towards paying the ridiculous price.

Did I mention I hate people?

I hate everybody except for my loved ones and you, Gentle Reader.

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