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2017-12-17 - 1:40 p.m.

By jove, I think I've done it! I think I finished my Christmas shopping yesterday. I went from panic mode to all done in one day. I will be checking my list more than twice. I'm not a pro like Santa. I have a fear of forgetting someone or realizing at the gift exchange that I've shorted someone.

My sister and I have a sacred tradition at Christmas time of finding new and exciting ways to call each other a ho. I used the last of my special flocked "Ho ho ho" paper last year (Flock you , Ho.) Last time I went to Costco I bought a super sized roll of new ho ho ho paper. We are good to go for many years to come. We have a sisterly gift tradition that we do every year. We call it the "Box of Delights". We each buy the other several goodies, big and small, cheap and not cheap, usually random AF. Last year one of the delights I gave her was a huge can of macadamia nuts that I wrapped in ho paper and I put a note on top that said "Enjoy Deez Nuts, Ho." Ahhhh good times... We wrap the gifts individually and then put them all in a big box which is designed as a testament to what a ho the receiver is. Last year I wrapped the outside to look innocent, like I was taking the high road, but inside the deceptive packaging was a ho explosion. Fun times. If you can't call your sister a ho at the family Christmas gathering, where's the fun?

I have a QVC problem. I want to buy everything I see demo'd on QVC. Every single thing seems like the greatest idea ever. I don't know what this syndrome is, but I know QVC is addictive for some people. I need to step away from it for self preservation. I'm aware this year that since we are all moving away, everything bought is just something else to move. I've had to keep that in mind this year with the Christmas shopping. My sister is moving right after Christmas. Like... movers will be at the house on the 27th. It's happening. I am trying to get through the holidays without becoming homeless. Yesterday there was a person trying to get a look at my house and it's not on the market yet. I'm not ready to show it, and Christmas shopping was job 1 yesterday, so I was dodging the looky loo. I do want to sell but yesterday was overwhelming for me. I think I may be hormonal and I was seriously trying to get my Christmas shopping finished, so the thought of someone wanting to look at my house felt like an intrusion. I feel kind of territorial about it. I really love my house. I wish I could magically have it transported to our new town. I am so much closer to pay off than I will be in a new home. I have to move. I want to move. I am sick of coastal living because of hurricanes. My community is only just now getting back to functional after Hurricane Harvey, so I want to bail on this crap before we get washed off the map again. But I love my house and I am not fond of the idea of selling it. Except when I am stuck in traffic and I start thinking about the fact that they are planning to widen the road my subdivision is on. This is going to be a nightmare for who knows how long.

I need to sell this joint!

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