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2017-06-23 - 5:01 p.m.

I can't believe it's Friday again already. Time is flying. June is nearly over. I like for summer to roll on by quickly because I live in a place that is nine degrees hotter than Hell. This is the time of the year when I stay my ass in the house or other air conditioned building until about mid November.

I want to move to a cooler climate, but not a place that has too much winter. I would like mild summers and mild winters with spring and fall both on the cool side. I'm not sure where that kind of weather can be had, but I think it might be in North Carolina, but that seems too far. I think I can get most of what I want in the Ozark mountains, so that is still the main place I'm considering. The hot miserable summer reminds me that I need to get gone.

I wish my home builder would buy land to build a subdivision up there and build my same house for me in the city I want to live in. That would be ideal. I checked the weather there yesterday and while it was 93 degrees here, it was only 79 degrees there. That's what I'm talkin' bout.

I made myself a bowl of fresh broccoli salad with bacon and cheese and grape tomatoes and purple onions with a sauce of mayo, rice wine vinegar, and a little no-carb sweetener. Holy crap it was so good. I ate the whole bowl. It was only a small bowl, made of one small broccoli head, but I told myself the filthy lie that I would save at least half of it for my dinner tonight. I need to stop trusting me. I'm a filthy liar and the truth is not in me.

Let me tell you of the Father's Day failures that were visited upon my sweet, sweet Dad. I ordered him a gift with a guaranteed delivery date of Father's Day. My sister ordered him a big box of sweet treats - perishable items, with a guaranteed delivery date of Friday before Father's Day. We didn't go in person because mom is sick (the squirts, no less) and wasn't up for (pooping for an audience)company. Fail #1: My gift was sent to my mail box instead of Dad's house. Fail #2: My sister's gift was delivered on Monday instead of Friday with the cold packs completely melted and the goodies hot and squishy. Yay Dad! We really love you!

Even if you can't.... tell.

(Queue up the Price is Right loser music)

::sigh::

Dad got nothing from me and ruined stuff from her. Awesome.


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