2017-06-02 - 10:24 a.m.
I had one of those dreams that plays like a visit from a dearly departed. The dream went on and on (or seemed to) and I woke up and interrupted the visit, fell back asleep, and the dream picked back up!I stayed in bed an hour longer than I was supposed to, just being with this sweet visitor.
In the dream he was the sweetheart I fell in love with. All the depression and paranoid comments were absent. He told me he was back to stay. Never leaving again. He was very matter of fact about it. He kept touching my face in a loving way and talking about my facial expression. He said he could read my emotions on my face and he knew I had doubts about his sincerity, but things were different now and I would see.
He used to look at me in this intense way that made me feel pleasantly consumed by him and utterly treasured. He was doing that in the dream. We talked about things... he was open and sweet and unguarded. I felt like he had undergone a transformation and the negativity that ruined the last few years of his life was lifted from him. I think that this is the truth. He has definitely undergone a transformation. I used to post things about him needing to snap out of it and come home before one of us died. I never really thought it would happen.
Young people are dropping like flies!! What is this fresh hell? There have been so many shocking deaths of young people. It was a trend in 2016 and it continues. My kid mentioned this to me in a text today. I texted her back and said "Look both ways before crossing the street, watch out for dropping pianos, and don't run with scissors in your hand!"
That was some good mothering right there.