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2017-03-28 - 9:37 a.m.

I saved an idiot from getting got. However, he is a first class sucker and it is only a matter of time before he gets got anyway.

There is a man who continues to pursue me, though I have been as plainly blunt as one can possibly be without actually murdering a fella. He is like Lloyd from "Dumb and Dumber". As long as I am not actively stomping his neck, he thinks there's a chance. He floats in and out of facebook, but he is one of those people who do not understand computers (or any kind of technology, or women, or life, or how to not get got.) I received a suggestion to befriend a person on his facebook friend list and it looked completely fake, so I clicked on the profile to take a closer look. Fake account. Nigerian scam. I copied the picture and google searched it. Of course, it was the cover photo on a site full of stock photos. I sent the google results to the box of rocks who didn't spot the obvious fakery. I told him "Don't befriend strangers! This is a burly man that you have been chatting with. He wants your money." It was hard to convince Lloyd Christmas, since his optimistic idiocy is strong. He told me he had blocked her, but she was still in his friend list. So I said to him "If you want to take a chance that she is real, it's your life. But this is a dude, trying to get your money. Let me guess... it probably doesn't seem like English is "her" first language, right? She calls you baby in every line. Says she wants to meet with you. If she hasn't already, she will soon tell you she needs money for a plane ticket, bail, a medical bill, a fine that she has to pay before leaving some country she is in "on business". This is a well known scam."

He finally realized I was telling him facts and he really blocked the fake girl. Right after that, the crook friended him again, same name, new profile. Another famous stock photo. I google searched that photo and showed this fool that she got him again. The criminal sent me a message asking me why I was doing this to him. It was really interesting to me that this person who was in the act of fooling someone I know, for the purpose of stealing their money was acting hurt that I would swoop in and mess it up. Like, I'm the bad person. It was mean of me to save my "friend" from being cat-fished and robbed blind.

I had a very interesting chat with this obviously foreign criminal and he admitted that he was scamming and then he started calling me baby in every sentence! Nigerians must think Americans are brain dead. I said "This won't work on me, baby." The crook said we could make a lot of money together. I could set them up and get a cut of the money. So I very plainly stated that I am honest and legit, would never do something illegal to get money. After that, the crook was paranoid and asking me if I wanted money to keep quiet. He asked me what I was going to do with the information I had.

After the convo ended, I blocked that name and the half dozen other fake profiles under that same name. I changed my name on facebook. I looked in Lloyd Christmas's friend list and saw a couple more fake profiles. So... clearly he can't be helped. The joke is on the crooks though, he doesn't have squat for them to take.

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