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2016-08-15 - 5:19 p.m.

Welp... today I got an email from the Regional Auditor who checks up on our work and who somehow managed to pinpoint the one 2 week period of my professional life when I didn't know my butt from a hole in the ground as the perfect time to scrutinize my work. Yippee!! The email contained her findings and it's really odd because there is not one mistake until the Monday I returned to work after my one true love was laid to rest. Then there is a cluster of mistakes for a few days after that and then no more mistakes. You can clearly see where I regained my ability to think straight.

I was going to just plead temporary insanity and throw myself on the mercy of the court and then I decided to check each mistake to make sure I was not copping to some false charges. Sure enough!! Three of the six mistakes were actually not incorrect. The auditor was incorrect. One of my students had complained before because this same auditor marked some things wrong on her work that turned out not to be wrong, so that was why I checked each mistake out. So I am getting 3 of my mistakes thrown out and then hopefully my boss will let the others slide due to extreme personal stress during that week when I should not have been trying to work.

You know, as bad as I felt that Monday, coming back to work, I didn't realize I was not able to do it, mentally. I thought I could throw myself into work and it would help me cope. I didn't even consider that I might do my work badly. I trusted my brain in a time when she couldn't be trusted. It's so weird to go back and see how much disarray I must have been in.

I've been on an emotional roller coaster today. At this moment, I feel pretty good, because I feel better about myself since my results came back and it is clear as day that my mistakes were only right around the terrible event and not before or after. It could have been much worse. I hope they don't make me go through a month long monitor process where the auditor reviews everything I do. That is usually what happens when someone fails their review.

Tomorrow I have an appointment for a 90 minute massage. I really need it. I'm looking soooo forward to it.

My mom, sister, and nephew's birthdays are all in a few days and I don't have jack shit for anyone yet. ::sigh:: I have zero great ideas. I have to come up with something damn skippy, since I don't have much time for stuff to be delivered. I'm going to my sister's house next weekend for the big family birthday party.

I feel like a whole barrel fulla monkeys. Lemme tell ya.

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