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2016-02-27 - 12:28 a.m.

I finally gave in to reality and went to the doctor yesterday. I was so sure I could throw it off and not go into the ridiculous full blown bronchitis. But by Thursday I was having these insane bronchial spasms which I recognize as the gateway to near death experiences for me. For some reason (because my parents both smoked in the house when I was a small child)every time I get sick, I go into respiratory distress. My body sees a germ and says "Quick! Shut down the windpipe!" I was so proud of myself for getting to the doctor nice and quick last time, but this time I failed. I was in denial.

So the doctor came in and remembers me from the last 2 times... and he flat-eyes me. Everyone thinks it's my fault when I get bronchitis. He listened to my lungs and said I have to use an albuteral inhaler for a while. He looked at my throat and very dramatically displayed his horror - like it was a monster and he was afraid of it. He said "Wow! That looks really bad. Doesn't that hurt?" And then I flat-eyed him. "Why yes, yes it does hurt." He said that I needed a couple of shots and a z pack and some heavy duty cough syrup. I got a shot in my booty. I escaped the second one because the doctor said it's too close to penicillin and I might react because I'm super allergic to penicillin. I came home with a band-aid on my butt. We heard that my mom's best friend found her older sister dead the other day and I told my sister "I bet she had a band-aid on her butt and an inhaler in her hand."

The good news about all this is this only cost me a 35 dollar copay and the meds were 58 bucks. Not too awful. The even better news is there is no waiting over there. I can go there as a walk in and be seen within 15 minutes, then they called in my prescriptions and they were ready at the CVS immediately. Before I even left the parking lot CVS was calling to tell me my prescription was ready for pick up! This is a radical change for my local CVS. One time a woman made me go home empty-handed and come back hours later when I was really very sick and all I needed was a z pack that comes pre-packaged. There's no pills to count, no fuss to be made. She only had to turn around and grab the box and ring it up, but because she could... she told me my prescription would be ready after 8 pm and not one minute before. She was one of those people who takes pleasure in wielding any small tidbit of perceived power over someone else. I notice she doesn't work there anymore. I wonder why. Evil people have rent to pay, too.


So today was Friday, I was nearly useless today but I'll make it up over the weekend when I should be resting and no one will be the wiser of just how egregiously non-productive I was today. I haven't been able to think straight for this whole week. I lose my train of thought. That sucker has been derailed all week.

I am looking forward to the day when my sister's mourning is under control and the black dog of death is not hovering around our family anymore. We are all affected and changed. One day there will be time for awesome sister trips. We are going to go to a luxury spa after she claws out from under the mountain of debt she's in. She makes almost as much money as I do, so she will be ok, financially. She's making a plan and her earning potential is without limit.

My mom and dad are gone for a fun weekend right now. My sister and I bought the folks a weekend trip to a beautiful Bed & Breakfast in Hot Springs for Christmas. My mom needs a break between all the mourning and funeral aftermath and her sick brother's daughter has been running her ragged. My mom is guilt based and she lives her life in service to others. She needs to take care of her self for a change.

I'm so very happy it is the weekend. I have things I must do for work since I am behind, but there are no restrictions or deadlines that I have to meet so it's wonderful.

I am hoping my z pack kicks in quickly I am so unbelievably tired of coughing. My rib cage is sore and my head is made of glass.

I am grateful for karma, even though it has kicked my ass so very thoroughly. To know that people always get what they deserve in the end is a comfort sometimes.

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