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2015-07-28 - 1:36 p.m.

Have you ever had a realization that you've been misunderstanding a phrase for years and had no clue you were wrong? I had that realization with the term "balls deep". I was thinking it meant you were so deep in something that it is like if a guy is standing in a room full of balloons or something and they are stacked up to the level of his balls. Like, a little short of waist high. Somehow I had the realization that it actually means IN SO DEEP... as in your weenus, your rooster, your man meat is essentially all the way in, to the balls. Balls deep. It's a subtle difference, but it makes the term "balls deep" seem worlds more vulgar than my previous understanding of it. I'm super glad I don't use that phrase as a regular part of my linguistic repertoire.

I used to have an assistant years ago whose work station was in my office. As a result of the close proximity, we chatted quite a bit. One day, she was telling me a story that she thought was funny and at one point she said "It finally donged on me." I said "Wait - what did you say?" and she repeated it. "I said it finally donged on me, you know? Like, I never realized it before, but then it donged on me." She meant the phrase "it dawned on me", but she had misunderstood that phrase, evidently, for her whole life. I didn't want to tell her about this embarrassing mistake, and it was just entirely too funny to me. She was flipping delighted, because she thought she was really slaying me with that story of hers, but really, I just couldn't believe she kept saying "It donged on me." I should have said "It has donged on me that you don't know it's dawned and not donged. You ding dong."

This whole entry is sort of about dongs.

I kill me.

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