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2015-07-13 - 11:05 a.m.

Last night I had a dream that my beloved ex was in a house with me and my whole family, but he was ignoring me. He was interacting kindly and wonderfully with everyone in the house but me. I was on total ignore. This was distressing to me but I was glad he was being nice to my family who all love him. He was getting ready to move away and his son was there also. I was very sad, but resigned to the fact that he wouldn't look me in the eye or talk to me.

All of a sudden, I realized he had been pulling some elaborate trick- he was just kidding - he actually loved me and was there to get me. Just as this was dawning on me, he got very close to me (up close and personal, like always)and he showed me a wedding band and as he went to slip it on my finger he was asking me to marry him. He had this happy look on his face, but I noticed that the ring he had for me was way too big. Something was wrong. I saw the shiny gold and the closer it got to me, the bigger it looked. As he slid the ring on my finger, it turned into a metal shower curtain ring. I was sort of bewildered at this and didn't even know what to say when he gathered me up in his arms and said happily "We're moving!" and I thought "hold up...."

Ain't that about right?

All my hopes in him... turned out to be a big goose egg. I see my dreams getting a grip on reality. They used to end happy, but now it's more like the reality. Unfortunately for me, I obviously still hope he has an epiphany and realizes he should come get me.

In other news:

I went to the church thing. THAT was an experience. I liked some of it and fervently wished I could sneak out in a spot or two. They did some stuff I wasn't ready for. The music was good. I might go next Saturday morning if I'm in town. The service I went to was a music thing that they do once a month. Every Saturday they have services and Yeshiva classes and discussion. Afterwards they go to a restaurant and have lunch together. They were all very welcoming. So maybe. I need to get out more and make more of a social life for myself. I find the Jewish history and rituals interesting too.

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