2015-06-24 - 6:52 p.m.
Lately I've been getting calls from scam artists.. or should I say very unskilled, non-believable, ridiculous, and obvious scammers who wish they could luck up and find a sucker dumb enough to believe their preposterous scams. I mean, these people are not even trying. They say things SO over the top that it would take a serious imbecile to not see it for the complete load of crap it is.
They get mad when you waste their valuable scamming time or yank their oh so yankable chains. They are just trying to make a living, here! They just want to quickly obtain your banking info and then they will be on their way and you win too, because you get to feel special that you were selected to receive this imaginary prize!! I mean, that's a service in itself, is it not? I should be ashamed of myself for making them think I am on board with their pitch, just eating up every word. It really annoys them when they discover I am leading them on for my own amusement. Shame on me.
Today some putz called me and gave me the great news that I had been selected to receive a fabulous prize. He needed to check a few facts and make sure I did indeed qualify. "Sure thing! Whatcha got?", I said. He replied "This prize is for shoppers of Walmart and Walgreens. Is it correct that you have shopped at Walmart or Walgreens?" Enthusiastically I replied "Why YES, yes I HAVE shopped at BOTH Walmart AND Walgreens!" so very excited to be a winner am I. "Ok ma'am, and is it correct that you spent over 20 dollars in one purchase from either of these stores?" he asked, careful to only release this prize if I had indeed spent over $20 at Walmart or Walgreens. "ERMAGERD!! YES I HAVE!! How much did I win???" I practically screamed. "Ok Ma'am, the prize is Nine Hundred and Fipty Towsant Doe-lahrs AND also a new Mercedes!" (nice touch, with the Mercedes) With a genuine smile in my voice (so amused)I exclaimed:"WOW!! I LOVE MERCEDES!!" Hmm... this has been easier than he thought it would be... he continued towards the bottom line: "Yes ma'am. Now to get this prize delivered to you...." At this point I stopped him and said "You know what? I am just... SO lucky. I win these contests ALL the time!!! Do you think I could maybe WIRE YOU SOME MONEY to help defray the cost of shipping this huge prize to me?" This is where he loses his chubby. Somewhat dejected, yet still wanting to seem legit he said "Oh, I am sorry. I have called the wrong number. This prize is for someone else." ::click::
I hope I didn't hurt his little feelers.