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2015-05-12 - 4:29 p.m.

I am aware that I harp endlessly about my love for my ex and my bewilderment at having been abandoned by him. (Twice) Oh! How I have puzzled and grappled and agonized about the whys and the hows and the what-the-fucks ever since he took his latest exit, stage left. I have been mentally and emotionally tortured, wondering if he was playing me all along. I knew there had to be an explanation to make sense of this whole comprehensive cluster fuck and sadly, there is. I could write a manifesto about it, but I'm determined to keep it brief today.

Suffice it to say, I am seeing my lost relationship with great clarity now. I have discovered the absolute answer to all the mind fucking that has gone down. Collectively, the seemingly random quirks about his behaviors towards me and others actually have a name. There are other people like him who carry out their relationships and lives in pretty much precisely the way he does. Suddenly, all my haunting questions are answered. I now understand what I was a part of. I see the role I played in my own destruction.

Because of this insight, I can finally heal.

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