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2015-04-12 - 3:33 p.m.

Life support is being taken off my uncle today. I am very sad. I'm more sad than I expected to be because I thought I had already mourned but guess what? There's no getting ready for something like this.

It's pure torture at this point, because it's not a done deal. When you know someone is going to die it is just agonizing until the end. Only then can the recovery begin. I'm in pain right now because my dad is losing his brother, my Aunt is losing her husband, my cousin is losing his dad. We don't know how bad it will get before he goes. It was bad with my grandpa. I wish that it was legal to request a lethal dose of morphine or something when it comes to the place where life support is off and death is coming in the form of some terribly unpleasant thing like your lungs filling up with fluid. The doctors have said that his diaphragm muscles are degenerated to the point that they expect it to be pretty quick, but they don't know how long he will struggle. This is not acceptable, but unavoidable. I just wish it was legal to opt out when it gets down to the point where you have nothing to look forward to except the end of the suffering. There are a couple of states where that is legal, but not where he is at.

My uncle was one of those wild and crazy characters. He was raunchy and rowdy and completely out of line most of the time. He was opinionated and full of dirty jokes. He made overly sweet wine and he blew stuff up for a hobby. He flew planes for a living. He has an air strip at his house. I had many good times there and I'll never forget it.

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