2014-11-03 - 10:45 a.m.
I had an important dream last night. I should have written it out sooner because I'm sure I've lost a lot of details, but I remember the main message. I woke up thinking "There is always room for more love, just as there is always room for one more star in the milky way."
In this dream, I was in a big room with many tables and chairs and many unknown people in it and I was next to my Corey. His GF was there and at first she was none too happy about me being there and I was none too happy about her being there. Corey didn't know how to act, because it was awkward for him with us 2 women in the same space. I just felt like "It is what it is and he is with someone else now, but that doesn't change the fact that he is important in my life and that I love him very much", so I was going to stay right there, accept her, and allow her to accept me. Like 2 cats. haha. Corey was a little skittish at first, but he relaxed and started to look me more in the eye and talk to me more and I felt happy and peaceful. We totally connected, as we do. As we would if he allowed any contact, and the love between us was big and alive like a being of its own. It was really very interesting. It was like this love had been denied, squelched, suppressed, but it was there and it was like... a glowing, living, breathing, expanding entity. I knew in that moment that he loved me. I knew, (as I really do know in my waking life as well) that this love is the important thing. Love is the always the important thing and there is always room for love. None of the circumstances mattered. What went on in the past didn't matter. Just the love.
In that moment, it didn't matter if our love was displayed in a romantic way or just a soul to soul loving of each other as people and spirits, that this is love and we two people have a real love between us that transcends the details of life. I do feel that way. I miss him in a romantic sense, but I would take friendship if nothing else, because I love him and feel like it is just wrong for him to not be a part of my life anymore.
I hope he can allow himself to see that I am a person who loves him and cares about him. I've let go of any negativity a long while back now and I hope he can too.