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2014-09-19 - 7:11 p.m.

Now that I'm not hating the person my ex cheated with anymore I can think of her without feeling upset. She's in a vulnerable situation, like I used to be, but she has thrown over her family, home, friends, career in her home town, and her life in general to go shack up with someone who is unreliable and she has had to start over at a very late stage of life. He's impossible and she will come up against a wall any time they disagree. He will demand things from her that he is not willing to give in return.

She has got a hard row to hoe and many sorry disappointments to come. I don't like the behaviors he engaged in that were cruel to me, but I don't wish him any harm. I remember what I loved about him and in fact, I still love those things. I'm glad I had the chance to feel what it is like to truly love someone all the way, as I have loved him. I'm sad that he wasn't on the same wavelength as I had so totally believed he was.

That's the thing about love. If you let yourself be all the way in love and you lay yourself open to this person, they can totally rip your heart out. You can't protect your heart without harming the intimacy. I went all in and got destroyed.

But I'm feeling better. heh

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