2014-07-22 - 9:21 a.m.
Closure has come. At last.
The anger towards the poor gal who took my place in my ex's life was completely misplaced anger. Women who have been cheated on should not blame the other party because a man duplicitous enough to cheat on the one he swears to love and be faithful to, will also lie to the women they are targeting to cheat with.
I guess the residual love a betrayed party feels for the one who betrayed her makes her look for another target for the rage that comes from being betrayed in that way. The other woman is handy for that.
The reality of it is that he is the one who betrayed me. She only operated with the info she was given. He lied to her too. I am sorry that I blamed her now. I am also sorry I wasted so many years on a guy who didn't have the moral character to hold and protect my heart after I'd given it.
She's going to have some terribly hard days ahead of her and when the going gets tough in their relationship, he will cultivate something else on the side or invent reasons to alienate her and make everything her fault so he can start over again with someone else. He doesn't grow, instead he gives up.
I, on the other hand, am reclaiming my life. I think I am finally free. I think my relationship was fun and fantastic (in the early years)and I fell in love totally with his humor, intelligence, wit, and his all-consuming passion for me was sort of intoxicating... and I completely ignored all the red flags... all the problematic signs that he would never be able to mentally leave the ghetto, operate within normal parameters, buy a car and insure it legally and in his own name, do things on the up and up, wear a suit, take on a mortgage, pay taxes, have tolerance for other races, get along with authority or family members, take responsibility for... anything, feel empathy, pay his insurmountable debts for all the things he's defaulted on, (taxes, child support, student loans, old bills) keep his word, stay on a career path, or do the right thing even when no one is looking.
I trusted him stupidly, despite many, many signs of instability and deception. That is my fault. I am the idiot who turned a blind eye to the most incredibly huge mountain of warning signs that have ever been compiled in one problematic human being.
Free at last, free at last...
Thank God Almighty
I'm free at last!